It's 1AM and I'm working on this write-up on a patient I saw over a week ago. As soon as I started talking to the guy I realized he was totally crazy. I have to appear professional and clinical in my note though . . .
What I have to write:
"Mental Status: Oriented to person, place, and time with respect to day and month – but believes the year is 2004. Maintains eye contact, except for short periods of time where he seems to close his eyes to maintain concentration when responding to an open-ended question. Changes in consciousness are noted, including waxing and waning and some confusion. Throughout the H&P the patient shows poor insight into his current condition. He shares his history lethargically yet cooperatively. At times he is dysarthritic or incoherent, with occasional bouts of blocked thought with subsequent perseverant explanations. Mood is euthymic and full affect is noted. Appropriate thought content, no suicidal ideation."
What I WISH I COULD write:
"Mental Status: The old dude is totally effing crazy. He asked me 47 times if I new his name in the first two minutes. When I'd ask him a yes/no question about a random disease he may have had, he'd answer "yes" no matter what.
Cheeler: How about any childhood illness . . . ever have rheumatic fever?
Krazy Dude: Yes
Cheeler: How about the mumps?
Krazy Dude: Yes
Cheeler: Tuberculosis?
Krazy Dude: Yes
Cheeler: Leprosy?
Krazy Dude: Yes
So totally nuts, but otherwise a nice old guy. Oh yeah, and he CRAPPED all over me when I sat him up to listen to his lungs."
Ahhh yes, medical school. I should have stayed in business school. I hear they have nice mixers.
Sometimes I may write things that are a little "medical-ish" on this blog. Turns out, it's a big part of my life.
When I sit down and think about the random things I do each day, it boggles my mind a little bit. Here's a list of some of the random things I did today:
1) Held a piece of 4 foot colon in my hands that had been resected from an autopsy performed yesterday. Spot the adenocarcinoma!
2) Listen to a girl drone on and on and on about her stupid "puppy". No one cares that you like to pretend you're a mommy with your stupid pet and your stupid boyfriend. And no, I don't want to see pictures of your overgrown rat (dog) on your cell phone 20 minutes after you start telling me about it. I'm a busy dude. Got things to do (video games to play).
3) Looked at microscopic sections of a lung from a 15 year old girl who just died of overwhelming infection (stemming from other serious medical problems). Discovered hyphae -- diagnosis Aspergillus.
4) Listened to several lectures on potassium in your urine. BORRRING (except that it's not. I, sadly enough, really get excited by these things).
5) Discussed the central tenets of Mormonism with a Catholic friend and discussed how people tend to vilify beliefs by making them sound crazy. Using Catholic beliefs as examples really came in handy. Thanks to my Old Man for being Catholic in a former life.
6) Spent probably well over two hours trying to get my email to work right again on my smartphone after Ian ripped the thing from my computer while it was synchronizing. You should have seen the smile on his face.
7) Beat down some unfortunate 12 year olds with my brother in World of Warcraft. I never get tired of that.
Alright. I realize this was kind of a boring post, but I felt the need to write.
Posts
All Comments
