Krazy

It's 1AM and I'm working on this write-up on a patient I saw over a week ago. As soon as I started talking to the guy I realized he was totally crazy. I have to appear professional and clinical in my note though . . .

What I have to write:
"Mental Status: Oriented to person, place, and time with respect to day and month – but believes the year is 2004. Maintains eye contact, except for short periods of time where he seems to close his eyes to maintain concentration when responding to an open-ended question. Changes in consciousness are noted, including waxing and waning and some confusion. Throughout the H&P the patient shows poor insight into his current condition. He shares his history lethargically yet cooperatively. At times he is dysarthritic or incoherent, with occasional bouts of blocked thought with subsequent perseverant explanations. Mood is euthymic and full affect is noted. Appropriate thought content, no suicidal ideation."

What I WISH I COULD write:
"Mental Status: The old dude is totally effing crazy. He asked me 47 times if I new his name in the first two minutes. When I'd ask him a yes/no question about a random disease he may have had, he'd answer "yes" no matter what.

Cheeler: How about any childhood illness . . . ever have rheumatic fever?
Krazy Dude: Yes

Cheeler: How about the mumps?
Krazy Dude: Yes

Cheeler: Tuberculosis?
Krazy Dude: Yes

Cheeler: Leprosy?
Krazy Dude: Yes

So totally nuts, but otherwise a nice old guy. Oh yeah, and he CRAPPED all over me when I sat him up to listen to his lungs."

Ahhh yes, medical school. I should have stayed in business school. I hear they have nice mixers.

A Day in the Life

Sometimes I may write things that are a little "medical-ish" on this blog. Turns out, it's a big part of my life.

When I sit down and think about the random things I do each day, it boggles my mind a little bit. Here's a list of some of the random things I did today:

1) Held a piece of 4 foot colon in my hands that had been resected from an autopsy performed yesterday. Spot the adenocarcinoma!


2) Listen to a girl drone on and on and on about her stupid "puppy". No one cares that you like to pretend you're a mommy with your stupid pet and your stupid boyfriend. And no, I don't want to see pictures of your overgrown rat (dog) on your cell phone 20 minutes after you start telling me about it. I'm a busy dude. Got things to do (video games to play).

3) Looked at microscopic sections of a lung from a 15 year old girl who just died of overwhelming infection (stemming from other serious medical problems). Discovered hyphae -- diagnosis Aspergillus.

4) Listened to several lectures on potassium in your urine. BORRRING (except that it's not. I, sadly enough, really get excited by these things).

5) Discussed the central tenets of Mormonism with a Catholic friend and discussed how people tend to vilify beliefs by making them sound crazy. Using Catholic beliefs as examples really came in handy. Thanks to my Old Man for being Catholic in a former life.

6) Spent probably well over two hours trying to get my email to work right again on my smartphone after Ian ripped the thing from my computer while it was synchronizing. You should have seen the smile on his face.

7) Beat down some unfortunate 12 year olds with my brother in World of Warcraft. I never get tired of that.

Alright. I realize this was kind of a boring post, but I felt the need to write.

Bilbo Baggins

Elsha is just finishing the Return of the King, the last book in the series the Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien (in case you live in a cave, voted for Mike Huckabee in a primary, have a rotary phone, etc., and didn't already know that).

To celebrate this fine piece of literary work, we decided to do the only thing justifiably American: watch the movie version. And not just any movie version, the EXTENDED movie version (don't worry, we watched it over the course of a few months).

I must say, at the end of the movie I was reminded how much I think Viggo Mortenson is and always will be the only one who could ever do the character of Aragorn. He embodies the character.



Hmm. Handsome for a man.

Right up there with Brad Pitt. And Jeff Goldblum. If I were a woman I'd choose to hang out with Viggo. But as a man, I think I'd prefer the company of Jeff. Not in a sexual way -- Jeff Goldblum is just much more funny.

As follows:

Anyway, I wanted to leave my dear wife with a musical tribute to the Lord of the Rings saga. No, not from my own creative mind, but from the mind of Leonard Nimoy circa 1969.

Be prepared to be disturbed (this may take a minute to load completely. In the meantime, make sure the kids aren't in the room).

Mario Paint: Instant Win

Recently my wife told me that she may not allow my son to have a gaming console (Nintendo, Playstation, Xbox, etc.) when he gets older.

While I certainly understand her concerns and desires, it reminded me of all the good times and life lessons I would have missed out on had I not had a Nintendo when I was growing up. To recall a few:

True love conquers all.

Including King Koopa, and especially with flower power.

Things aren't always what they seem.

Turns out, Samus was a girl.


To get the job done, you need the right tools.

It took me forever to get through the mountain pass without the magical hammer.

One of my favorite memories is about a game called Mario Paint. Mario Paint was a suite of mini-games promoting creative play. This was just a really, really, really boring Nintendo version of MS Paint with a few little goodies on the side. One of those was a music lab. In it, you could pick certain icons that would represent a different tone, and place them on a music sheet for pitch. You would then run the program, and play your music, which sounded like a horrible MIDI file.

My friend and I messed around with Mario Paint for hours trying to get it to play the theme from Ghostbusters, with which we were obsessed. (My friend's parents were dumb enough to buy Mario Paint. To my parents credit, they knew it was a bad purchase). We never did get Mario Paint to make more than a bunch of bleeps and boops.

But someone eventually did get it to work well. And I present to you, ladies and gentlemen, The Theme from Ghostbusters, courtesy of Mario Paint:

Happy Brithday, Denis

Another year, another pelvic thrust for you mi amigo. And to do it appropriately, I envoke the favor of Yatta!



It's better than chocolate rain.

New Blog

I've started a new blog (as you can see). This will be my third attempt at a decent one.

I'm working on the design and layout right now, so I probably won't post anything for a little while until I get it to a point that I like. Until then, there are plenty of other interesting things to watch on teh interwebs.



Ugh. I can't believe I just posted that.